


It's not fair (until it is)

by orphan_account



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Buck deserves the world because he's an angel, Buck finally blows up and the firefam realizes they screwed up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley, i just love buck so much, the fam really needs to apologize for not being there for him enoguh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:28:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Buck had celebrated Hen’s win with the team.After all, she had basically started a surgery on a moving ambulance and done it right, saving the guy’s life in the process. He was happy for her, she deserved the recognition. But then he overheard her and Bobby talking about how the hospital wasn’t going to present a formal complaint even though she broke many rules.And Buck couldn’t help but think that if it had been him on that situation, he would at least get a suspension.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 315





	It's not fair (until it is)

**Author's Note:**

> i just love buck, okay? he's an angel and i do not take criticisism about it

Buck had celebrated Hen’s win with the team. 

After all, she had basically started a surgery on a moving ambulance and done it right, saving the guy’s life in the process. He was happy for her, she deserved the recognition. But then he overheard her and Bobby talking about how the hospital wasn’t going to present a formal complaint even though she broke many rules. 

And Buck couldn’t help but think that if it had been him on that situation, he would at least get a suspension. 

He was always the one punished in some way for every little thing. He was always the one naive and wrong that needed to be told that no, he couldn’t do that and because he did it, he had to pay for it somehow. And looking back at all the mistakes the rest of the team had made, he didn’t think that was fair. 

He’ll admit, the first time he was fired, Bobby was right. He was irresponsible and immature and he learned and changed. Everything was fine for a while after that, but then he got crushed by the firetruck and he had to fight with everything in him to get back to his job. 

Five months. It took him five months to heal and to do the physical therapy and to do all the training again for his recertification. He was so close. 

And then the pulmonary embolism happened and everyone seemed to think he was too irresponsible with himself to be helping other people. When the reality was that he had been training, he thought he had overworked a muscle, how could he had known that he had blood clots. So then he had to step back and heal again, and he did. He didn’t like it, but he did. He waited patiently. 

And then Bobby had admit to being the reason they wouldn’t let him go back to work. Buck had been so angry. The one person he trusted with everything had gone behind his back and kept him from doing what he loved. And when that lawyer had pointed out that he was being held back for being on blood thinners but Chimney had gone back to work less than a month later after having a rebar through his head and being stabbed multiple times, he had felt that anger again.

Because it wasn’t unfair. If he had gotten a cut while being on blood thinners, Chim and Hen would be there to patch him up right away. But if Chimney’s wounds weren’t properly healed and he had had internal bleeding, that would have been much more dangerous. 

He didn’t have to go that far back to compare how different he was treated compared to the rest of them. Eddie had been street fighting and Bobby had found out. But he only got a warning and a pat in the back. 

And Buck didn’t want them to be punished, not at all. He just wanted to understand why he was the one disfavored every time. That thought stayed on his mind the whole day, leaving him with a bitter feeling.

The next weekend, they had gathered together for drinks at their usual bar. It had started great, he was enjoying spending time with everyone. But then they started talking about how great what Hen did was and that bitter feeling came back.

“Why is it that I am the only one punished for things?” He asked suddenly and everyone turned to him. 

“What do you mean, Buck?” Chimney had asked after a moment of silent stares.

“Well, I was fired and kept from coming back to work for things much less relevant than some of the things that have happened to you guys, yet none of you has ever been suspended or anything.” He states frowning and everyone exchanged looks between them, not knowing what to say. 

“You needed to learn the lesson, to understand that you can’t just get out of something serious and keep going like nothing happened. You have to be professional about some things.” Bobby explained carefully and Buck was taken aback. Tilting his head and narrowing his eyes, he sat straight on his chair. 

“No. A lesson is something a father teaches his son. You’re not my father, Bobby, you’re my boss. And if that’s your reason, I think you were the unprofessional here.”

“There are rules to follow…” Bobby started but was interrupted.

“Hen broke the rules the other day.” He said glancing in her direction. “What about that?” He asked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. 

“Eddie put everyone at risk by street fighting and coming to work injured. That could have affected the whole team.” He said looking directly into Bobby’s eyes, ignoring how his friend tensed up beside him. “What about that?” His tone got angrier with each word. 

“Chimney got a damn rebar through his head and got stabbed but less than a month later he was back in full duty again.” He got up abruptly. “What about that?” He pointed at the direction where Chimney was. Bobby stood up, looking calmly at him. 

“Your situation was different, Buck.” He said but Buck was not having it.

“How was it different?” Buck scoffed angrily. “Because all I can see is me repeatedly getting screwed over and everyone else getting unlimited free passes.” He was raging now and his eyes were burning from keeping the tears at bay. 

Everyone stared a him with concerned faces, probably because it wasn’t like him to get this angry, or angry at all. But he was done playing nice and taking the unfair treatment.

“Buck…” Maddie stood up slowly, ready to comfort her little brother. 

“Tell me you don’t see how unfair it is.” He faltered, looking at everyone else on the table. He only got stares and bowed heads as a response so he scoffed bitterly and stormed out of the place. He heard Maddie calling out for him but he was too mad to care. 

He got into his car and drove to his apartment. He got there and as soon as he was inside, he started crying. He knew now they probably would hate him, but he couldn't keep quiet anymore. He was starting to realize that he needed to stand up for himself because no one else was going to do it for him. Not even the people he considered family.

He let the tears fall for god knows how long, sitting against the door. Once he felt like he had no more tears left in him, he got up and went to the bathroom. A shower would calm him down enough to sleep. 

He got ready for bed and was about to turn all the lights off when he heard a knock on the door. He decided to just ignore it, he didn’t think it would be someone from the team considering that it had been over an hour and they hadn’t even text him.

“Buck?” He heard Maddie’s voice as the door was closed. He sighed and walked down the stairs, not even looking at her and sitting in the couch. 

“Everyone probably hates me.” He said, covering his eyes with his arm. 

“No one hates you, Evan.” She sat next to him, putting a reassuring hand on his leg.

“Why wouldn’t they?” He uncovered his eyes, sinking further into the couch. “I basically told them they should have been reprimanded for their mistakes and that Bobby was wrong about everything.” 

“They don’t hate you.” Maddie repeated, patting his knee. “If anything…” She stopped for a second, taking out her phone and typing something. “You made them see how wrong they were.” She finished and smiled at him. He frowned at her. Made them see? 

Before he could ask her what she meant, the front door was being opened and everyone was coming into his apartment. He didn’t move, didn’t know what to do. But they seemed to have a plan because they gathered in front of him, smiling softly.

He looked at Maddie for answers but she just nodded her head and looked at the others.

“I’m sorry.” Bobby spoke, tone calm and gentle. “You were right. I let my worry for you cloud my judgment and I hurt you because of it. Athena warned me and I didn’t listen.” 

“I sure did.” She interrupted and gave Buck a fond look at which he smiled. 

“I know, I know.” Bobby continued, raising his hands in surrender. “And truly, Buck, I’m really sorry and I hope you can forgive me.”

“And us.” Chimney spoke up from the side, giving him a gentle smile.

“Yeah, Buckaroo. We’re really sorry, we haven’t been the best friends to you and that’s not fair because you’re always there for us.” Hen chimed in, looking at him with her head tilted to the side and a small frown.

“Hopefully, you’ll let us make it up to you.” Bobby smiled and everyone stared at him expectantly. He couldn’t help the smile that broke into his face. 

“Okay.” He whispered and everyone cheered. 

“Come on!” Maddie got up and he followed her, being pulled into a tight embrace by everyone around him. 

“We love you Buckaroo.” Bobby told him once they broke apart and his smile got bigger.

“And I love you all.” He answered softly, eyes filling with tears again, but luckily this time they were from happiness. 

\--------

After their apologies, they ordered pizza and stayed together, talking, laughing. Buck was grateful for them and he was happy that they finally understood what he felt. But one person seemed off for Buck. Eddie. He hadn’t talked much since they got there and every time Buck looked at him, he was already looking back. 

After about an hour, all of the sudden, he got up and looked at him.

“Buck, can I talk to you in private?” He walked away from the group and went up the stairs, not even waiting for Buck to answer. Buck watched him go and when he noticed everyone staring at him and Maddie nodding his head in the direction Eddie had left, he followed. 

He heard everyone mumble unintelligible things while he was going up and once he got to his room, he saw as Eddie paced back and forth beside the bed.

“Everything okay?” He asked and Eddie’s head shot up.

“Uh…” He walked up to Buck, standing a few inches apart and hesitating for a second before going on. “I am sorry, okay?” He asked, looking up at Buck’s eyes. 

“Yeah, you all said you were sorry, I forgave you. It’s okay.” Buck shrugged and gave him a little smile.  
“No.” Eddie groaned and passes a hand over his face. “I am sorry. I told you I would always have you back and I didn’t. You were hurting and I didn't do anything about it.” He whispered the last part, arms slumped and looking down.

“Eddie, hey.” Buck draw his eyes back up, with a hand on his shoulder. “I understand, man. You were just following cap’s lead” He shrugged with one arm, a soft smile on his face to reassure his friend that he wasn’t mad anymore. 

“But it’s not okay.” He shook his head, locking eyes with Buck. “I shouldn’t have shut you out. I was angry because it felt like you were leaving us, leaving me... and instead of reacting like a good friend and trying to understand your side of things, I reacted from pain and I got angry and distant to protect myself but I am sorry.” 

“Eddie, I’m never leaving you.” Buck comforted him, pressing both hand softly on his shoulders and rubbing with his thumb. “Not as long as you want me to stay.” 

“What if I want you to stay forever?” He said so quietly that Buck almost didn’t hear him being inches apart. But he did and his smile got so much bigger and Eddie looked at him cautiously, waiting for his answer. 

“Then let’s hope Chris doesn’t get tired of me too soon.” He joked and Eddie finally relaxed, a shy smile appearing in his face. 

“He’ll never get tired of you.” Eddie answered confidently, with a soft smile.

They stood there, smiling at each other. Neither of them wanting to break the warm atmosphere around them. Eddie darted a glance from Buck’s eyes to his lips and he flushed. Buck laughed softly. 

“You okay?” He asked teasingly and Eddie flushed even harder and then took a deep breath. 

“I’m about to do something risky and you should totally stop me if you don’t want to but…” He trailed out and looked at Buck’s lips again, leaning closer and leaving a soft kiss. He pulled away and Buck couldn’t help but chace his lips and bring him back in with a hand on neck. 

The kiss was slow and tender, Buck’s hands keeping Eddie closer by his neck and Eddie’s cupped Buck’s face, stroking gently with his thumbs. 

They pulled apart only because they had to breath. They pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed and fond smiles on their faces. 

“You know I love you, right?” Eddie whispered, opening his eyes and looking into Buck’s. 

“I do, but it’s nice to be reminded.” He answered and gave Eddie a quick peck. “I love you too.” Eddie brought him into an embrace, breathing in his scent and sighing in content.  
“We should probably get back down there.” Buck finally said, laughing when Eddie groaned. “You can stay the night, though.”

“I’d love that.” Eddie answered, giving him a quick kiss and taking his hand, walking to the stairs. 

Once they were downstairs, Eddie gave him a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth before going to sit on the couch and Buck could swear he almost melted for how gentle he was. 

“Ha! Told you, pay up.” Hen said and Buck let out a laugh when everyone else started complaining, looking over at Eddie who was smiling back. 

Now his family saw him, understood him and was there for him. At last, he knew, he would be all right.


End file.
